My Dad Is Actually A Manic Depressive,

In A Lot Of Ways, I'm Seeking Some Sort Of Peace Of Mind For Myself. I'm A Fairly Emotionally Petty, Resentful Guy Who Has An Inflated Sense Of Himself, And I Needed To Take That Down A Notch.

You Know When You Make Popcorn There Are Always Those Fluffy White Kernels That Are Fun And Good To Eat But There Are Also Always Those Burnt, Black Kernels That Don’t Pop. You Know Why They Don’t Pop? Because They Have Integrity.

I'm Not Fundamentally A Writer. I Know Writers, And I Have A Tremendous Amount Of Respect For Them. It Bothers Me That No Matter How Well I Do It, It's Not Really My Format.

It Always Astounds Me That Over The Course Of My Career, And Having Lived In Four Comedy Cities - New York, Boston, San Francisco, And Los Angeles - There's Very Few People I Haven't Run Into.

For My Next Trick I Will Make Everyone Understand Me.