My Best Birth Control Now Is Just

I Have No Sex Appeal, Which Kills Me. The Only Way I Can Ever Hear Heavy Breathing From My Husband's Side Of The Bed Is When He's Having An Asthma Attack.

A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions Asked, But If A Woman Makes Nineteen Or Twenty Mistakes She's A Tramp.

I Have To Tell You That It's Not Going To Be Easy. Take Every Chance And Every Opportunity That You Can. Don't Say 'i Can't' Or 'i Shouldn't' Or 'i'm Too Tired.'

I Think Any Celebrity That Adopts A Child From A Third World Country Is A Fool.

I Hate Mcdonald's. I Don't Want To Order My Dinner By Yelling Into A Clown's Mouth. If I Want My Face In A Clown's Mouth, I'll Tongue Kiss Glenn Beck.