My Act Is Based On My Life.

I Prefer Big Oprah. I Know Oprah Wants To Be Skinny Oprah, But Her Head Is Too Gigantic To Fit On A Skinny Body. She Has To Accept That, Like Kirstie Alley, She Was Meant To Be... Ahm... Voluptuous!

Remember, Folks, I Am A Comedian, Not A Journalist.

When I'm Going To See A Comedian, I Don't Want To See Them Hold Back, And When I'm Reading A Book, I Don't Want To Hear An Abridged Version.

Well, I Think That When I Perform On The Road I Always Thank The Audience For Buying A Ticket Because It's A Big Deal To Buy A Ticket For A Live Entertainment, Get A Baby-sitter And Pay For The Meal, The Parking, Whatever.

It Is A Challenge, With The Global Fame, To Try To Act Like I Put My Pants On One Leg At A Time, When In Fact I Have Pippa Middleton Help Me Put My Pants On Every Morning. She's My Lady-in-waiting As Well.