Men Like Phones With Lots Of Buttons.

I Can See Close Up And My Husband Can See Far Away, So We're Covered. He Tells Me Who's In The Movie And I Tell Him What's In His Sandwich. Together We're Human Bifocals.

After You've Dated Someone It Should Be Legal To Stamp Them With What's Wrong With Them So The Next Person Doesn't Have To Start From Scratch.

A Good Place To Meet A Man Is At The Dry Cleaner. These Men Usually Have Jobs And Bathe.

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.

I Get A Lot Of Return Business. I Think It's All Those Years I Put In Traveling Around The Country; People Saw Me Before And Had A Good Time So They Want To See Me Again.