Men Date. Women Have Relationships.

Small Wastebasket Liners, $1.17 ... Tall Wastebasket Liners, $2.29 ... Garbage Can Liners, $3.98 ... I Think I Just Spent $7.44 Buying Something I'm Going To Throw Away.

I Was Going To Sip On A Diet Soda, But A Little Voice Convinced Me I Needed The Extra Calcium From A Cup Of Hot Chocolate.

All Parents Believe Their Children Can Do The Impossible. They Thought It The Minute We Were Born, And No Matter How Hard We've Tried To Prove Them Wrong, They All Think It About Us Now. And The Really Annoying Thing Is, They're Probably Right.

My Heart Always Belongs To The One Who Doesn't Want It.

One Day, In 1982, For 15 Minutes, My Hair Was Perfect.