Men Are Having Sex With Animals And

If I Had A Kid, I'd Give Him A Name That Would Make Everyone Would Want To Say His Name. I'd Call Him, Pizza-pussy-santa. I Would! Cause Everybody Likes One Of Those Things.

Sparklers Are The Gay Cousins Of The Fireworks Family.

A Lot Of These Kids I Think Are More Content Just To Be On Facebook And The Computer Than They Are To Actually Go Out. They Just Really Want To Get A Picture To Post To Their Buddies, And That's About It.

Are You Shooting Webs Of Stupid At Me?

I Keep Getting These People At My Shows Who Only Know Me From Television. I Can Always Tell When They're, Like, Emotionally Flinching When I Start Doing My Jokes.