Memories, Priceless. Well Not Really Priceless, But

Max: What's A Period? George: It's A Bullet We Dodge, Go Get Ready.

If The Worst Thing That Can Happen Is That Nobody Laughs, Then I Can Deal With That, Because The Worst Thing That Can Happen At The Factory Is That I Could Lose A Limb Or Be Crushed By A Huge Machine.

It Was June 4, 1979, The First Time I Went On Stage. I Didn't Know I Could Do It But I Knew I Couldn't Not Do It. I Quit Everything In My Life And This Was The One Thing I Couldn't Quit.

It's An Honor To Walk In The Footsteps Of A Legend. As Host I Intend To Honor The Tradition Of The Bob Hope Classic And Have A Great Time Blazing A New Path.

[there's] A Joke That I've Done Forever: 'nowadays They Say That The Largest Majority Of People Will Be Latino And You'll Tell Scary Stories To Your Grandkids: "a Long Time Ago When I Was Growing Up, There Used To Be People Who Were White," And The Kid Says, "really?" And You Say, "yeah, Like The Man Who Cuts Our Grass."' I've Had That Line Forever And I Love It.