I've Gotten In Trouble With Every Race

Barack Obama May Be Black, But John Mccain Is The First Albino Presidential Candidate: He's Completely See-through!

By The Time I Was 11, I Wanted To Be A Comedian. So All Those Years Later, I've Managed To Achieve My Dream As A Kid, And It Wasn't Easy. I'm On The [hollywood] Walk Of Fame And I'm One Of The 25 Most Influential Hispanics In America, According To Time Magazine. I Think My Duty Is To Go Back And Tell Kids, 'whatever Color You Are, Wherever You Come From, Anything And Everything Is Possible.' And I'm Living Proof.

D.c. Is A Great Place. The Music, Jazz, Has Always Been Great Here, The Restaurants Have Always Been Fantastic Here. And There's Been A Lot Of Changes In This City Over The Last 30 Years, And All For The Better.

I've Spent Days In Cinemas Answering Questions From The Audience, In Interviews, Travelling Abroad, And All They Do Is Thank Me Nicely.

Whoever Is My Relative, I Will Not Be Nice To Them.