I've Gotten In Trouble With Every Race

Look, I Made A Commitment To Corn 17 Years Ago. Sure, I'm A Man. I Like To Go To A Barbecue And See Beans That I Like: Baked Beans, Red Beans, Black Beans, Big Plump Garbanzos. But In The End, I Always Come Home To My Sweet, Sweet Corn.

Barack Obama May Be Black, But John Mccain Is The First Albino Presidential Candidate: He's Completely See-through!

I Think We All Feel The Same Things Most Of The Time, We Just Don't Know How To Put It Into Words. When I'm On Stage, I Say It. The Truth Makes People Laugh.

David Letterman Is The Best Late-night Talk Show Host Right Now, Hands Down, And Has Been Since He First Took The Desk.

I Prefer My Mexican Food To Have A Little Bit Of An Animal That Suffered A Little Bit. That's Some Of The Best Food.