Media, The Plural Of Mediocrity.

Football Is A Game Designed To Keep Coal Miners Off The Streets.

Journalism Should Be Truthful And Entertaining. You Know, With News And Important Facts You Can Entertain People Too. Have A Little Humor. Life Isn't All That Deadly All The Time, But While You're Having Fun, Tell The Truth. If Every Word Of A Column Is Deadly Serious, I Can't Read It. It Makes Me Throw Up.

The Professional Arsonist Builds Vacant Lots For Money.

Don't Trust A Brilliant Idea Unless It Survives The Hangover.

The Other Feature Is A Gymnasium Named After Another Dead Politician Who Was Gifted With Fast And Extremely Sure Hands.