Martinis Are Like Breasts, One Isn't Enough,

The Clock Doesn't Matter In Baseball. Time Stands Still Or Moves Backwards. Theoretically, One Game Could Go On Forever. Some Seem To.

The Only Thing Wrong With Immortality Is That It Tends To Go On Forever.

Satire Of Satire Tends To Be Self-canceling, And Deliberate Shock Tactics Soon Lose Their Ability To Shock, Especially When They're Too Deliberate.

I Hope I Go To Heaven, And When I Do, I'm Going To Do What Every San Franciscan Does When He Gets There. He Looks Around And Says, 'it Ain't Bad, But It Ain't San Francisco.'

When A Place Advertises Itself As 'world Famous,' You May Be Sure It Isn't.