Manners Are Just A Formal Expression Of

The Founders Were Right All Along, But The Results Are A Lot Funnier Than They Intended.

Imagine Wasting All That Perfectly Good Anger On Paranoid Fantasies. Not Since Emily Litella Got Upset About "soviet Jewelry" Has There Been Such A Waste Of Anger. You Will Notice A Certain Theme To These Emily Litella Moments. Behind Them All Is A Touching Faith That Someone, Somewhere Is Actually In Charge Of What's Happening - A Proposition I Beg Leave To Doubt.

I Prefer Someone Who Burns The Flag And Then Wraps Themselves Up In The Constitution Over Someone Who Burns The Constitution And Then Wraps Themselves Up In The Flag.

Democracy Requires A Certain Relish For Confusion

I Used To Go On College Campuses 25 Years Ago And Announce I Was A Feminist, And People Thought It Meant I Believed In Free Love And Was Available For A Quick Hop In The Sack. ... Now I Go On College Campuses And Say I'm A Feminist, And Half Of Them Think It Means I'm A Lesbian. How'd We Get From There To Here Without Passing "go"?