Americans Are Not Getting Screwed By The

I'm Sorry That Government Involves Filling Out A Lot Of Forms. ... I'm Sorry Myself That We're Not Still On The Frontier, Where We Could All Tote Guns, Shoot Anything That Moved And Spit To Our Hearts' Content. But We Live In A Diverse And Crowded Country, And With Civilization Comes Regulation.

The Pyramids Were Built For Pharaohs On The Happy Theory That They Could Take Their Stuff With Them. Versailles Was Built For Kings On The Theory That They Should Live Surrounded By The Finest Stuff. The Mall Of America Is Built On The Premise That We Should All Be Able To Afford This Stuff. It May Be A Shallow Culture, But It's By-god Democratic. Sneer If You Dare; This Is Something New In World History.

Satire Is Traditionally The Weapon Of The Powerless Against The Powerful. I Only Aim At The Powerful. When Satire Is Aimed At The Powerless, It Is Not Only Cruel -- It's Vulgar.

Behind A Smoke Screen Of High-profile Female Appointees And Soothing Slogans, George W. Bush Is Waging War On Women.

Nice Is A Pallid Virtue. Not Like Honesty Or Courage Or Perseverance. On The Other Hand, In A Nation Notably Lacking In Civility, There Is Much To Be Said For Nice.