Like All Good Ruins, I Look Better

I Never Made `who's Who,' But I'm Featured In `what's That?'

I Don't Like To Cook. I Can Make A Tv Dinner Taste Like Radio.

When I Go To The Beauty Parlor, I Always Use The Emergency Entrance. Sometimes I Just Go For An Estimate.

Once Fang Took Pep Pills And They Worked - The Only Time He Ever Ran To Bed.

To Get A Roaster Clean, Send Something Like Baked Apples In It To A Neighbor. Neighbors Always Return Pans Spotless, And You Won't Have To Use A Blow Torch On It Like You Usually Do.