Like All Good Ruins, I Look Better

You Know You're Old When Your Walker Has An Airbag.

I Realize It Is Normal To Argue. I Almost Missed World War Ii Watching My Parents Fight.

We Have Far Too Many Kids. At One Time In The Playpen There Was Standing-room Only. It Looked Like A Bus Stop For Midgets. It Used To Get So Damp In There, We'd Have A Rainbow Above It.

My Cooking Is So Bad My Kids Thought Thanksgiving Was To Commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Nothing Was Happening In The Bedroom. I Nicknamed Our Waterbed The Dead Sea.