Life Is Measured By How You Lived

People See A Big Dude And They Hear That High Pitched Voice Or "eglasias With An 'i'" And Love It Because They Can Relate And Go "i Know That Person!".

And I Don't Want You Thinking That My Girlfriend Is A Bad Person. She Is An Amazing Woman, The Fact That I Only Have Seven Stories About Her In Eight Years, Says A Lot. You Know, Don't Get Me Wrong, Five Of Them Happened This Year, But That's Still Way Below The Bar, You Know What I Am Saying.

Kids, Man, They're Way Too Honest. They're Like Mini-alcoholics.

Hanging Out With Comics, All They Did Was Make Fun Of Me.

I'm Always Ready For Tv. I Don't Have To Edit My Jokes - When You Work Clean, You Can Work Anywhere.