Life Is A Series Of Dogs.

The Only Thing High-definition Television Will Do Is Provide Sharper Images Of The Garbage.

It Turned Out I Was Pretty Good In Science. But Again, Because Of The Small Budget, In Science Class We Couldn't Afford To Do Experiments In Order To Prove Theories. We Just Believed Everything. Actually, I Think That Class Was Called Religion. Religion Class Was Always An Easy Class. All You Had To Do Was Suspend The Logic And Reasoning You Were Being Taught In All The Other Classes.

I Was Surprised When I Started Getting Old. I Always Thought It Was One Of Those Things That Would Happen To Someone Else.

Now, Some People Do This For Shock Value. Shock Is Just Another Uptown Word For Surprise. Granted It Has A Different Quality To It, But A Joke Is About Surprising Someone. I'm A Great Believer In Context. You Can Joke About Anything. I Do Like Finding Out Where The Line Is Drawn, Deliberately Crossing It And Bringing Some Of Them With Me Across The Line, And Having Them Be Happy That I Did.

I've Just Completed A Five-year Period That Can Perhaps Best Be Called A Breathing Spell. A Time Of Getting My Health Back And Gathering My Strength. That Time Also Included Incredible Cocaine Abuse, A Heart Attack And My Wife's Recovery From Both Alcoholism And Cocaine Abuse.