Life Is A Near-death Experience.

Eventually, Alas, I Realized The Main Purpose Of Buying Cocaine Is To Run Out Of It.

You Know What I Like About The American Form Of Government? They've Worked Things Out So That You're Never Far From A 7-eleven.

Soft Rock Music Isn’t Rock, And It Ain’t Music. It’s Just Soft.

If We Could Just Find Out Who's In Charge, We Could Kill Him.

Bowling Is Not A Sport Because You Have To Rent The Shoes. When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? This Title Offends All Three Major Religions, And Even Vegetarians!