My First Rule: I Don't Believe Anything

When People Say “clean As A Whistle”, They Forget That A Whistle Is Full Of Spit.

I Think The Warning Labels On Alcoholic Beverages Are Too Bland. They Should Be More Vivid. Here Are A Few I Would Suggest: "alcohol Will Turn You Into The Same Asshole Your Father Was."; "drinking Will Significantly Improve Your Chances Of Murdering A Loved One."; "if You Drink Long Enough, At Some Point You Will Vomit Up The Lining Of Your Stomach."; "use This Product And You May Wake Up In Morocco Wearing A Cowboy Suit And Tongue-kissing A Transmission Salesman."

In Most Polls There Are Always About 5 Percent Of The People Who 'don't Know.' What Isn't Generally Understood Is That It's The Same People In Every Poll.

Tell The People You Love That You Love Them, At Every Opportunity.

My Mother And I Had A Lot Of Distance Between Us Emotionally, Although, On The Surface, Most Of The Time, We Appeared Good And Friendly, And All That. But I Was A Problem. I Was A Street Kid.