Learn All The Rules... Then Break Them.

As A Standup, I Try To Change The World. As An Entertainer, I Try To Entertain. And As A Lesbian, I Try To Pick Up The Prettiest Girl In The Room.

A Woman Will Allow Herself To Be Clouded By Her Emotions. Her Reasonable Thought Becomes Completely Unreasonable Over The Most Ridiculous Thing. It's A Girl Thing.

Straight Girls Like Me. They Flirt With Me To Get Whatever They Want. Of Course It Works.

They Are Preserving The Sanctity Of Marriage, So That Two Gay Men Who've Been Together For Twenty-five Years Can't Get Married, But A Guy Can Still Get Drunk In Vegas And Marry A Hooker At The Elvis Chapel! The Sanctity Of Marriage Is Saved!

No One Has The Responsibility To Be Out To Anyone But Himself Or Herself. I Made My Choice A Million Years Ago.