Last Week I Told My Psychiatrist, 'i

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.

I'll Tell Ya, I Don't Get No Respect... The Other Day, I Got Back From A Business Trip. I Got In A Cab And Said To The Driver, "hey! Take Me To Where The Action Is!" So Ya Know Where He Took Me? He Took Me To My House!

At Twenty A Man Is Full Of Fight And Hope. He Wants To Reform The World. When He Is Seventy He Still Wants To Reform The World, But He Know He Can't.

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."