Kids Should Practice Autographing Baseballs. This Is

I Don't Know. I Never Smoked Astroturf.

We Called Pete Rose And Larry Bowa The Soup Spoons, Because They Were Always Stirring Things Up. Twenty Years Later, Nothing's Changed.

Ten Million Years From Now, When Then Sun Burns Out And The Earth Is Just A Frozen Iceball Hurtling Through Space, Nobody's Going To Care Whether Or Not I Got This Guy Out.

I Have No Trouble With The Twelve Inches Between My Elbow And My Palm. It's The Seven Inches Between My Ears That's Bent.

Ninety Percent I'll Spend On Good Times, Women And Irish Whiskey. The Other Ten Percent I'll Probably Waste.