Keep Your Head Up In Failure And

The First Real Thought That I Had Of Something That I Might Do Was To Write For Car Magazines, Because I Always Had A Car Thing.

I Was In Front Of An Ambulance The Other Day, And I Noticed That The Word Ambulance Was Spelled In Reverse Print On The Hood Of The Ambulance. And I Thought, Well, Isn't That Clever. I Look In The Rear-view Mirror; I Can Read The Word Ambulance Behind Me. Of Course While You're Reading, You Don't See Where You're Going, You Crash. You Need An Ambulance. I Think They're Trying To Drum Up Some Business On The Way Back From Lunch.

I Feel Like Humor Is The Answer To Everything. If You Have A Little Bit Of Humor In The Shaker And You Can Sprinkle That On, That's Your Answer.

I Know I'm Not Going To Understand Women. I'll Never Understand How You Can Take Boiling Hot Wax, Pour It Onto Your Upper Thigh, Rip The Hair Out By The Root, And Still Be Afraid Of A Spider.

I Like Any Cereal. I Like The Idea Of Just Eating And Drinking With One Hand Without Looking.