Junk Runs In The Family. My Granddad

If You Can See The Handwriting On The Wall... You're On The Toilet.

I'm A Sagittarian, See, I Can't Be Fenced In. I Been Living In Las Vegas, Greatest City In The World. I Look Out My Window For 100 Miles. In Vegas, There's Nothing To Do But Gamble, Drink Or Have Sex. I Have Two Of 'em.

What's The Difference Between A Pickpocket And A Peeping Tom? A Pickpocket Snatches Watches.

The Food Here Is So Tasteless You Could Eat A Meal Of It And Belch And It Wouldn't Remind You Of Anything.

This Is The Big One! You Hear That, Elizabeth? I'm Coming To Join Ya, Honey!