Jesus Christ Can't Hit A Golf Ball

The Truth Is, The First Golf Club I Owned Was An Old Left-handed, Wooden-shafted, Rib-faced Mashie That A Fellow Gave Me, And That's The Club I Was Weaned On. During The Mornings We Caddies Would Bang The Ball Up And Down The Practice Field Until The Members Arrived And It Was Time To Go To Work. So I Did All That Formative Practice Left-handed. But I'm A Natural Right-hander.

I Play Golf With Friends Sometimes, But There Are Never Friendly Games.

When You See An Opportunity, You Practice And Work, At Least From Sunup To Sundown.

You Hear Stories About Me Beating My Brains Out Practising, But The Truth Is, I Was Enjoying Myself. I Couldn't Wait To Get Up In The Morning, So I Could Hit Balls. When I'm Hitting The Ball Where I Want, Hard And Crisply, It's A Joy That Very Few People Experience.

Shoot A Lower Score Than Everybody Else.