I've Never Had Guys Sit Me Down

Once In A While, When I'm Alone, I Think About My Age. I Think, How Many More Years Do I Have On This Earth? But I Can't Really Conceive Of Dying. Somehow, In My Head, I Don't Think I'll Die. I Know That Everybody Dies, Of Course. I Just Think That It'll Never Come To Me. It's Crazy, But There It Is.

Regis Philbin Is Very Successful In His Own Right. We Have A New Thing Where He Have Chairs And We Sit And Talk To Each Other About My Career And His Career. It Works Pretty Well If I Do Say So.

Everything I've Ever Done In My Whole Career, People Might Not Know, I've Never Written Anything Down On Paper.

When Someone Says To Me, Do You Do Stand-up I Say Absolutely Not. I Like To Think Of It As A Theatrical Performance. With Me The Show Changes Maybe Five To Ten Percent Every Night. Of Course, Whatever I See In Front Of Me And Sometimes I Get On A Little Run About It And It Changes The Show. And My Delivery Is Such That People Who Have Seen Me Many Times Say Gee, I Never Heard That Before. Actually, They Have, But I Might Have Changed It Around.

I'm Not A Big One For Jokes. I Can't Tell A Joke, Believe It Or Not. If You Gave Me A Thousand Bucks And Said, "don, Get Up At A Party And Tell A Joke," I'm The Worst.