I've Learned That You Can't Make Someone

Some Mornings, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Leather Straps.

I Was Walking Down The Street The Other Day And These Construction Workers Were Working On The Roof Hammering Away. One Of Them Told Me I Was A Paranoid Lunatic... In Morse Code.

When I Wake Up In The Morning, I Just Can't Get Started Until I've Had That First, Piping Hot Pot Of Coffee. Oh, I've Tried Other Enemas.

At My Lemonade Stand I Used To Give The First Glass Away Free And Charge Five Dollars For The Second Glass. The Refill Contained The Antidote.

Every Time I See Dan Quayle I Feel Like Buying A Vowel.