I've Been Playing Golf A Long Time,

My Father Told Me All About The Birds And The Bees, The Liar - I Went Steady With A Woodpecker Till I Was Twenty One.

Golf's Really Fun In Japan Because Of The Women Caddies. ... I Saw One Guy Start Out Playing Alone With His Caddie. By The 9th Hole They Were Engaged And When They Finished On 18 They Had A Foursome.

Middle Age Is When You Still Believe You'll Feel Better In The Morning.

I Have Too Much Money Invested In Sweaters.

Timing Is The Essence Of Life, And Definitely Of Comedy.