I've Been Coming Back Like A Rubber

John Frances, Entertainment Chair, Of The Friars Club: Of All The Roasts That I Have Produced For The Friars Club, This Is The One That I Am Most Excited About. Mickey Is One Of The Club's Dearest Friends, And We Wanted To Honor Him In The Way We Know Best.

I Don't Regret Anything I've Ever Done. I Only Wish I Could Have Done More.

When I Was 19 Years Old, I Was The Number One Star Of The World For Two Years. When I Was 40, Nobody Wanted Me.

I Don't Pick The Roles. Your Agent Gets A Call For You And You Go And They All Get Together, Everybody Has Fun At The Reading, And They Say, "there's Chemistry Here." So That's How It Happens.

It's Confusing. I've Had So Many Wives And So Many Children I Don't Know Which House To Go To First On Christmas.