I've Been Coming Back Like A Rubber

John Frances, Entertainment Chair, Of The Friars Club: Of All The Roasts That I Have Produced For The Friars Club, This Is The One That I Am Most Excited About. Mickey Is One Of The Club's Dearest Friends, And We Wanted To Honor Him In The Way We Know Best.

And That's The Way I Have Always Lived, For The Laughs – Today. N-o-w. No Other Way.

I Was A Thirteen-year-old Boy For Thirty Years.

If I Ever Complain To An Agent About Anything, He Always Has A Pained Look On His Face, Like, "how Can You Be So Ungrateful? Why, Mick, I Just Named My Yacht After You!"

Clark Gable Once Said To Me, "'acting School?' [if You Go,] I'll Kill Ya!"