It's My Wife Ruth's Birthday Soon. I

There Was A Man Sitting In The Dining Room Of The Titanic, He Said: "i Know I Asked For Ice, But This Is Ridiculous."

I Have A Pacemaker In, But It Doesn't Work Very Well, Because Every Time I Fart The Garage Door Opens.

An Englishman, Irishman And Scotsman Were Invited To A Christmas Party. The Englishman Brought A Bag Of Tinsel, The Scotsman Brought A Bag Of Holly And They Asked The Irishman: "what Have You Brought?" He Said: "i Brought A Pair Of Knickers." They Asked: "what Has That Got To Do With Christmas?" He Said "they're Carol's."

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."

People In Northern Ireland Vote For Their Church, They Don't Vote With Their Heads; It Is Ridiculous.