It's Lonely On The Top When There's

I Could Tell My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

When I Got Back Into Show Business In 1961, I Felt - For Obvious Reasons - That Nothing In My Life Went Right, And I Realized That Millions Of People Felt The Same Way. So When I First Came Back My Catch Phrase Was "nothing Goes Right." Early On, That Was My Setup For A Lot Of Jokes.

I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

With Me, Nothing Goes Right. My Psychiatrist Said My Wife And I Should Have Sex Every Night. Now, We'll Never See Each Other!

My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge Club... I Jump Off Next Tuesday.