It's Lonely On The Top When There's

My Wife Isn't Very Bright. The Other Day She Was At The Store, And Just As She Was Heading For Our Car, Someone Stole It! I Said, "did You See The Guy That Did It?" She Said, "no, But I Got The License Plate."

She Was So Fat That Her Belly Button Makes An Echo.

I Tell Ya, My Wife Was Never Nice. On Our First Date, I Asked Her If I Could Give Her A Goodnight Kiss On The Cheek - She Bent Over!

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Told My Mother, I'm Gonna Run Away From Home. She Said, On Your Mark.