It's Hard To Find A Play That's

If I Were Actually Homer Simpson, I'd Be Getting Scripts Out The Wazoo.

If Something Goes Wrong At The Plant, Blame The Guy Who Can't Speak English.

It's The Weirdest Thing. When You Go Into Acting, You Expect To Be A Huge Star And To Be Recognized. It Did Happen, But Not In The Way You Expect It To. In L.a., I'm Just Another Character Actor.

Getting Out Of Jury Duty Is Easy. The Trick Is To Say You're Prejudiced Against All Races.

Sometimes The Only Way You Can Feel Good About Yourself Is By Making Someone Else Look Bad. And I'm Tired Of Making Other People Feel Good About Themselves.