It Takes Only One Drink To Get

When I Die I Intend To Take My Music With Me. I Don't Know What's Out There, But I Want To Make Sure It's In My Key.

Sex Can Be Fun After Eighty, After Ninety, And After Lunch!

When I Was Young I Was Called A Rugged Individualist. When I Was In My Fifties I Was Considered Eccentric. Here I Am Doing And Saying The Same Things I Did Then And I'm Labeled Senile.

I Get Up Every Morning And Read The Obituary Column. If My Name's Not There, I Eat Breakfast.

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.