Being A Child At Home Alone In

Thanksgiving Dinners Take Eighteen Hours To Prepare. They Are Consumed In Twelve Minutes. Half-times Take Twelve Minutes. This Is Not Coincidence.

Sometimes I Can't Figure Designers Out. It's As If They Flunked Human Anatomy.

I Haven't Trusted Polls Since I Read That 62% Of Women Had Affairs During Their Lunch Hour. I've Never Met A Woman In My Life Who Would Give Up Lunch For Sex.

When You're Lecturing Teenagers And They Begin To Hum And Leave The Room, You Can Sense There Is Hostility.

One Never Realizes How Different A Husband And Wife Can Be Until They Begin To Pack For A Trip.