Here's A Tip: Never Get Drunk While

Sparklers Are The Gay Cousins Of The Fireworks Family.

Remember When You're Young And You Think Your Dad Is Superman? And Then You Grow Up And Realized He's Just A Drunk Who Wears A Cape.

My Cousin Had A Baby And I Was Watching Her Breastfeed For A Couple Of Bucks, And I'll Tell You Ladies: It's Amazing.

Sometimes It's Hard To Tell If A Joke Is Working Or Not For The First Couple Of Minutes.

A Lot Of These Kids I Think Are More Content Just To Be On Facebook And The Computer Than They Are To Actually Go Out. They Just Really Want To Get A Picture To Post To Their Buddies, And That's About It.