In America, Any Boy Can Grow Up

I'm Often Asked Why I Travel Around The Country Talking Politics. Is It For Humanitarian Reasons, Community Spirit, Or Is It For The Money, The Limousines Or The Girls? The Answers Are: No, No, Yes Yes Yes!

A Gun Is A Necessity. Who Knows If You're Walking Down A Street And You Spot A Moose?

They Said I Ignored The Drug Problem. Well, I Gave Speeches On Drugs, I Wrote Books On Drugs. I Did Darn Near Everything On Drugs!

I've Upped My Standards. Now, Up Yours.

It Is True That All Of The Current Presidential Candidates Once Denied That They Had Any Intention Of Running. But The Fact That I Am Also A Liar, Doesn't Make Me A Candidate.