I'm Very Resilient. The Only Thing I'm

You Know How Screwed Up Censorship Is, Two Girls Just Agreed To Make Out Naked In Front Of Their Fathers, And We Went Wait, Don't Curse.

Comedians, We're Just People Who Whine. But We Happen To Be Funny When We Whine.

I've Never Been Swimming, And That's Because It's Never Been More Than Half An Hour Since I Last Ate.

I Want To See Toby Maguire Fight Christian Bale.

Richard Lewis Has This Incredible Ability To Look Like He's Just... You Know It's An Act That's Been Honed. What You Have To Do In Standup Is Create Spontaneity, Somehow; Even Though You've Done This Act A Million Times, You Gotta Look Like You're Almost Just Thinking Of It Now, To Make It Entertainer.