I'm Sure That Half The Buzz From

Now A Jew, In The Dictionary, Is One Who Is Descended From The Ancient Tribes Of Judea, Or One Who Is Regarded As Descended From That Tribe. That's What It Says In The Dictionary; But You And I Know What A Jew Is - One Who Killed Our Lord. And Although There Should Be A Statute Of Limitations For That Crime, It Seems That Those Who Neither Have The Actions Nor The Gait Of Christians, Pagan Or Not, Will Bust Us Out, Unrelenting Dues, For Another Deuce.

Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles Is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's Goyish. B'nai B'rith Is Goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If You Live In New York Or Any Other Big City, You Are Jewish. It Doesn't Matter Even If You're Catholic; If You Live In New York, You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You're Going To Be Goyish Even If You're Jewish.

Once You Sleep On Feathers You Can't Go Back To Sleeping On The Floor.

You Got To Pay Your Dues To Get The Joke. Besides, Laughter Is Cheap And Very Portable. If There's A Pogrom, Or They're Blaming You For The Plague, Nothing Is Easier To Pack Than A Sense Of Humor.

I Am Influenced By Every Second Of My Waking Hour.