I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost

A Dyslexic Man Walks Into A Bra.

I Always Sit In The Tail End Of A Plane, Always. You Never Hear Of An Plane Backing Into A Mountain.

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

Two Eskimos Sitting In A Kayak Were Chilly; But When They Lit A Fire In The Craft, It Sank, Proving Once And For All That You Can't Have Your Kayak And Heat It Too.

I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other Day. He Wasn't Very Happy.