A Guy Walks Into A Pub With

I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten To One. It Came In At Quarter Past Four.

Deja Moo: The Feeling That You've Heard This Bullshit Before.

I Went Into A Butchers And I Said, 'i'll Have A Pound Of Sausages. 'he Said, 'i'm Very Sorry, Sir, We Only Serve Kilos In Here. 'i Said, 'okay Then I'll Have A Pound Of Kilos.'

Well, My Wife And I Were Married In A Toilet - It Was A Marriage Of Convenience!

So I Knocked On The Door At This Bed & Breakfast And A Lady Stuck Her Head Out Of The Window And Said: 'what Do You Want', I Said, 'i Want To Stay Here'. She Said, 'well Stay There' And Shut The Window.