A Guy Walks Into A Pub With

I Bought Some Hp Sauce The Other Day. It's Costing Me 6p A Month For The Next 2 Years.

So A Man Jumps Into A Taxi And Says "king Arthur's Close" And The Taxi Driver Says, "don't Worry We'll Lose Him At The Next Lights".

My Wife Had A Go At Me Last Night. She Said, Youll Drive Me To My Grave. I Had The Car Out In Thirty Seconds.

I Went To Buy Some Camouflage Trousers The Other Day But I Couldn’t Find Any.

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.