Are You Shooting Webs Of Stupid At

Have You Seen That Magazine Barely Legal? That Means When You Look At It, You're Almost A Pedophile.

This One Guy, The Worst Guy In The Music. The Yanni Man. You Know Yanni? First Of All, Anyone Who Looks Like A Magician And Doesn't Do Magic, I Don't Like. I Don't Even Like Magic, I Hate It. But I Love The Word, "ta-da"! I Love That Word! I Don't Get To Say It, Right? I Never Do Any Magic. You Just Can't Go Around Walking, "ta-da!" "ta-da!" "ta-da!" The Only Time I Can Say It Is When I Do Something Really Stupid Or Surprising. Like If I Go Out All Night Drinking And Hitting Strip Clubs And I Come Home And I Still Got Some Money... "ta-da!" I Thought I Was Broke. Why Does My Jaw Hurt?

The More Discovery Channel You Watch, The Less Chance You Have Of Ever Meeting A Woman. Because It Fills Your Head With Odd Facts That Can Come Out At Any Moment. "hello. Did You Know Hitler Was Ticklish? That Sea Otters Have Four Nipples? Wait - Don't Run Away!"

Sometimes It's Hard To Tell If A Joke Is Working Or Not For The First Couple Of Minutes.

If I Was To Have Sex With One Animal It Would Be A Horse. That Is A Beautiful Animal. And When You Have Sex With A Horse, You Know You Always Have A Ride Home.