I'm Not Lazy. I'm Simply Judicious About

I'm Not Lazy. I'm Simply Judicious About Excess Movement.

I'm The Person Who Says Every Single Thing She Thinks, Sometimes To Others' Amusement, And Almost Always To My Detriment.

Really? If I Could Hate My Trainer? That Would Be Ideal. I'd Prefer To Despise This Person With The Fire Of Ten Thousand Suns. So When I Walk - Nay, Crawl - Out Of Here At The End Of My Workouts, I Want To Lull Myself To Sleep By Picturing My Very Talented And Inspirational Trainer Getting Hit By A Bus. A Bus That I Am Driving.

Over The Summer We Chatted One Night While Angie Stripped A Bed, Changed Wet Sheets, Comforted And Repajamaed A Toddler, And Chased Down A Car Of Speeding Teenagers While Shaking A Brick At Them, Never Once Interrupting The Conversation Or Setting Down Her Margarita. The Only Reason This Woman Isn't President Of General Motors Is Because She's Chosen Not To Be.

I Don't Care How Happily Married You Are Or How Deeply Enmeshed You Are With Your Children And Family And Career -- Every Woman Needs A Couple Of Chicks Who'll Break Out The Sangria Just Because You Need To Vent.