I'm Not Lazy. I'm Simply Judicious About

Over The Summer We Chatted One Night While Angie Stripped A Bed, Changed Wet Sheets, Comforted And Repajamaed A Toddler, And Chased Down A Car Of Speeding Teenagers While Shaking A Brick At Them, Never Once Interrupting The Conversation Or Setting Down Her Margarita. The Only Reason This Woman Isn't President Of General Motors Is Because She's Chosen Not To Be.

Everyone Who Reads Me Is Someone I'd Like To Hang Out With.

In Real Life, I Tend To Yell At People A Lot. Not Because I'm Bossy Or Mean, But Because I'm Frustrated.

For The Record? I Have Never Been Her Baby. In Fact, I Reject The Notion Of Coming Out Of Her Body. I Prefer To Believe I Was Hatched, Or Perhaps Purchased.

You Can't All Of A Sudden Go To Sleep One Night And Wake Up Martha Stewart. It's Bit By Bit By Bit.