I'm Not Lazy. I'm Simply Judicious About

Point? Maybe You Aren't A Carrie Or A Samantha Or A Charlotte Or A Miranda. Maybe You're Just You.

I'm The Person Who Says Every Single Thing She Thinks, Sometimes To Others' Amusement, And Almost Always To My Detriment.

I Never Sleep On The Plane. I Have To Be Awake And Using My Mind Power To Keep It In The Air

I Can't Believe Anyone Would Voluntarily Run 26 Miles. Sometimes I Sit On The Couch Cross-legged Because I Don't Feel Like Walking To The Bathroom.

For The Record? I Have Never Been Her Baby. In Fact, I Reject The Notion Of Coming Out Of Her Body. I Prefer To Believe I Was Hatched, Or Perhaps Purchased.