I'm Not Lazy. I'm Simply Judicious About

I Still Believe In The Holy Trinity, Except Now It's Target, Trader Joe's, And Ikea.

I've Always Been Able To Cook Italian Food. That's In My Blood Because I'm Half Sicilian.

Fletch Then Kisses Me On The Forehead Before Opening The Cabinet Under The Coffeemaker To Grab Placemats And Napkins. Retrieving These Items Is His Job Because I Kind Of Don't Like To Bend. I Also Refuse To Carry Anything Heavier Than My Purse.

You Think You're So Cool Just Because You Can Walk!

Over The Summer We Chatted One Night While Angie Stripped A Bed, Changed Wet Sheets, Comforted And Repajamaed A Toddler, And Chased Down A Car Of Speeding Teenagers While Shaking A Brick At Them, Never Once Interrupting The Conversation Or Setting Down Her Margarita. The Only Reason This Woman Isn't President Of General Motors Is Because She's Chosen Not To Be.