I'm Not Lazy. I'm Simply Judicious About

Writing Is Something That I've Always Loved. That Stems From My Love Of Being A Reader.

I Still Believe In The Holy Trinity, Except Now It's Target, Trader Joe's, And Ikea.

I Would Rather Receive A Pap Smear From Captain Hook Than Venture Out On New Year's Eve.

I’m Busy Sorting Through Our New Collection Of Rhinestone Jewelry. Should Anyone Be In The Market For Sparkly Accessories The Size Of A Hubcap, This Is The Place To Get Them. Earlier Today, A Customer Picked Up One Of The Enormous Chandelier-style Offerings And Asked, 'do Those Be Genuine Rhimestones?' I Couldn’t Even Begin To Explain Everything That Was Wrong With Her Sentence, So I Simply Replied, 'yes. They Do Be Genuine.

Owning A Dog Is Slightly Less Expensive Than Being Addicted To Crack.