I'm Not Going To Lie To You

I'm Not Going To Lie To You Fellas, I've Been Drinking

Historically, A Successful Life In Comedy Is A Dream That's As Equally Pondered And Unpursued As Being An Astronaut.

I Have Been In A Lot Of Movies, But None Of Them Are Critics' Darlings, You Might Say.

I Snorted Heroin Once By Accident. It Was Amazing. But Kids, Don't Snort Heroin. It's Too Good.

When I Black Out, It's The Happiest Time Of My Life.