Comedians, We're Just People Who Whine. But

Artie Is Going To Do What Ever Artie Wants To Do.

My Dad Was Superman To Me, And In My Mind He Always Will Be.

My Mother Would Say, Before I Left The House, 'remember Art, Hugs Are Better Than Drugs.' And I Believed My Mother, I Believed Everything She Said - Until The First Time I Got High At A Party. I Leaned Back, And I Went, 'god, This Is Way Better Than When My Uncle Perry Hugs Me. What Else Has My Mother Been Lying To Me About?

I Have Been In A Lot Of Movies, But None Of Them Are Critics' Darlings, You Might Say.

By The Time I Am Howard's Age I Hope To Be Long Retired. I Don't Plan On Working That Long.