I Was At Yankee Stadium One Time

Googling Me, You Talk About Being Depressed. First Of All There's 18 Websites That Predict My Early Death.

The Only Reason I Can't Recommend Heroin To Kids Is Because The Effects Wear Off.

I Have Gay Friends, I Support Gay Rights, I Have Nothing Against The Gay Community, But When I See Two Guys Kissing, I Think It's Gross. And, By The Way, It's Gross When 99% Of Straight People Do It, Too.

For A Degenerate Like Me, Vegas Is Like A Walk Down Memory Lane. Last Time I Went To Vegas, I Went To My Old Coke Dealer's Kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I Snorted Heroin Once By Accident. It Was Amazing. But Kids, Don't Snort Heroin. It's Too Good.