I'm Not Elitist. I Like To Do

I Am Lucky To Be In A Profession That Is Not Age Dependent.

Convoy? Michael, You're Hanging Around With A Man Who Uses A Collective Term For A Single Vehicle.

People Come Up To Me In Supermarkets And Demand Humour. And The Less Amusing I Am, The More They Piss Themselves. So I Say, "i'm Doing My Shopping, Mate, Ok?" And The Guy Will Be On The Floor In Hysterics. Quite Odd. Eventually I Do Have To Say Something Funny So I Usually Go For Something Pathetic Like, "it's A Nice Place To Shop But I Wouldn't Like To Live Here!" And They Roar Again. Wet Themselves. I'm Lucky Though That I Am Not Massively Famous, I Can Get The Tube Without Much Bother. Must Be Awful Being The Beckhams.

I'm Just Attracted To Playing People Who Are Ostensible Unlikable. That's Not To Say That There's Something In There That Makes You Care. It Might Be That You Just Find Them So Awful That You Just Can't Stop Watching, Like A Car Crash.

I Don't Apologize For My Behavior Anymore. Whatever I Do Or Don't Do Shouldn't Matter. Moral Certainty Is Dangerous. Moral Certainty Is What Makes People Go To War Unnecessarily And Illegally. Morality, As Any Halfway Intelligent Human Being Would Tell You, Is A Very Subjective Thing.