If You Chase Something Too Desperately, It

I Never Had Any Desire To Be Famous. I Find People Who Do Really Sad. I Genuinely Feel Sorry For Them Because There Is Nothing Of Substancein Their Lives. I Am Happy When I Am Writing Or Performing. Not When I Sit There Being "famous". I Like Recognition For My Work, But Not Recognition For Being "that Bloke Off The Telly". It Is Genuinely Humbling When A Woman Comes Up To Me, As Someone Did Recently, To Say She Wanted To Commit Suicide After Her Husband Died, And My Show Cheered Her Up And Made Her Feel Better. That's Great.

Convoy? Michael, You're Hanging Around With A Man Who Uses A Collective Term For A Single Vehicle.

I Like The British Public. There Is Something In This Country Called Tall Poppy Syndrome. You're Good But You're Not That Good, Pal, Ok? The Natural State Of Our Nation Is Slightly Miserable, And Probably The Healthier For It. In America You Don't Get A Key Down The Side Of Your Bentley.

Actually, Bizarrely, In America, I Get More Appreciation From The Odd, Unusual Stuff I've Done, Almost Because I'm Not, If You Like, Famous In America As I Am In England.

I Think We All Have A Slightly Gay Gene Inside Us, Don't We? It Might Be 0.00001 Per Cent As Mine Is, Or One Per Cent As Yours Is.