I'm Not A Theater Rat, So I

You’ve Got To Be Prepared For The Names They Are Going To Call You Compared To Your Male Peers… You Will Be A Floozy And A Slattern. He Will Be Virile And A Ladies’ Man. You Will Be A Freakshow, A Retching Wretch, A Sloppy Drunk. He Will Be Charismatic, Vainglorious, A Ferocious Drunk And Dionysian. You Will Be Indiscriminate And Desperate. He Will Be Generous, Tortured And Driven.

When I See 16 Year-olds Waiting For Me, I Just Want To Spank Them And Give Them Guitars And Tell Them To Start Bands. It's A Bummer That Girls Have To Respond To Rock Artists Sexually Instead Of, Like, 'wow, Me Too!'.

I Don't Think You Can Ever Do Too Much. Life Would Be So Boring If You Didn't Have These, Like, Holes To Fall Into And Climb Out Of. I Want To Do Everything. I Just Want Everything. I Don't Think You Can Ever Have Too Much.

On Sofia Coppola's 16th Birthday, Way Back In 1987, I Stole A Lip Gloss From Her Sistine Chapel Of A Bedroom. Years Later, I Left A Chanel Lip Gloss In The Reception Of The Mercer Hotel For Her. You Know Why? I Believe That You've Got To Fix Your Karma.

I Want Every Girl In The World To Pick Up A Guitar And Start Screaming.