I'm Not A Person Who Embraces Challenges.

I Don't Write Shows With Dialogue Where Actors Have To Memorize Dialogue. I Write The Scenes Where We Know Everything That's Going To Happen. There's An Outline Of About Seven Or Eight Pages, And Then We Improvise It.

It's Always Good To Take Something That's Happened In Your Life And Make Something Of It Comedically.

If I Tried To Flirt With A Woman And She Didn't Know Who I Was, She Would Run Away.

Trying On Pants Is One Of The Most Humiliating Things A Man Can Suffer That Doesn't Involve A Woman.

I'd Much Rather Be On Stage Talking To A Couple Of Retards For Twenty Bucks Than Sitting At My Desk Thinking Up Jokes For...well Let's Say A Few Dollars More.