I Just Feed Off The Energy Of

Whenever Something Good Happens To Me, It's Usually Followed By Something Terrible.

I'm A Jerk, That's Who I Am. I'm Like Everybody Else.

I Think Michael Moore Is A Hero. I Love Him.

All Of A Sudden I Discovered That I'm Allergic To Caviar. It Was The Perfect Metaphor For My Life. When I Was Only Able To Afford Bad Caviar, I Could Certainly Eat My Fill Of It.

A Date Is An Experience You Have With Another Person That Makes You Appreciate Being Alone