I'm Not A Movie Guy, I'm Not

I Feel Like Soundtrack Music Is Almost Like Seeing The Movie Again, But With My Ears.

I Keep Getting These People At My Shows Who Only Know Me From Television. I Can Always Tell When They're, Like, Emotionally Flinching When I Start Doing My Jokes.

It's A Horrible Economy But I'm Trying To Do My Part. I Just Bought A New Shower Curtain It Has All The Presidents On It. Do You Know How Hard It Is To Masturbate With All The Presidents Staring At You? And When The Water Hits Them It Looks Like They're Crying.

You Gotta Make Your Own Fun. That's Right, Listen To That Mother Of Two, She Knows What I'm Talking About.

I Went Skiing Today, Too, Yeah. I Didn't Wanna Go. The Girl I'm Stalking Wanted To Go, So... I'm Not Kiddin!