I'm Lucky A Couple Of Filmmakers Have

Don't Tell Girls They Can Be Anything They Want When They Grow Up. Because It Would Have Never Occurred To Them That They Couldn't. It's Like Saying, 'hey, When You Get In The Shower, I'm Not Gonna Read Your Diary.' 'wait--are You Gonna Read My Diary?' 'no! I Said I'm Not Gonna Read Your Diary. Go Take A Shower!'

She, Uh, Came Out Of The Closet Recently, My Niece. Um... She Announced To The Family That She's A Lesbian And... She's Seven, Did I Mention That? And, Uh, I Don't Even Know If She Knows What A Lesbian Is, But I Support Her Completely. And, Uh... I'll Tell You What's Heartbreaking. My Sister Punished Her For It. Can You Believe That? No Pussy For A Week. Which To Us May Not Sound Like... But When You're Seven, You Know, A Week Is A Long Time.

I Don't Compromise. I Only Do The Stuff I Want To Do.

My Mom Was Always Someone Who If, Even Now, I Say I Met A Certain Famous Person, She Always Says, "she's Married To So And So!"

By The Time I Would Have Graduated, At 22, I Was A Writer And Featured Performer On Saturday Night Live.